Part 1: Be Prepared.
Choose Your Arena
Happy birthday, now it’s time for the age old rite of passage, your first strip club visit. The first step is choosing a club, now no doubt your year or two older friends will currently be proclaiming their expertise in all things stripper “nah man you have to go to this club, Saturday nights go off!” (he has been once, on a wednesday, and got blackout drunk so doesn’t remember much) but don’t let them sway you, unless they are the type of guy who knows whats up and can make a good recommendation, make up your own mind. Look into the local clubs, but don’t be afraid to do a little traveling, after all you only get one first strip club experience, make it count! You have to decide what type of experience is for you. Do you want a rough around the edges, anything goes kind of joint where you can get a bit rowdy, shoot some pool on a dodgy table in a dark corner while the ladies dance on stage and wake-up with your wallet some-what intact, or do you want the glitz and glamour of a full-on club with suit-clad bouncers, girls who look like they have stepped off a magazine cover and into your backroom lapdance dreams, rounds of shots that could come with a payment plan and waking up in the morning wondering if it was all a dream. Whatever your style if you do the research you will find a club that will make a mark on your becoming a man.
Suit up
The outfit of choice here should reflect the establishment you’re attending, but there are a few general rules. Don’t wear shorts, come on dude that’s a no brainer, you have to look the part, this is a strip club, not a footy game. No sharp belts, zips, chains etc, you don’t want the ladies avoiding you because the chain on your wallet (stop living in the 90’s) scratched up their supple skin. Wear something classy and comfortable, for both you and the ladies who will be gracing your lap through the evening, the girl will give much better dances if they are not getting stabbed and scratched by your poor fashion choices.
Less Booze, More Boobs
Now that you have chosen the club and your outfit is on point, it’s time for the pregame. Don’t fall into the “i’ll get drunk before I go, save money on drinks when I’m out” trap. This is a solid plan for a night out with the boys, hitting up the nightclubs, but this is a bad move for a strip club. Sure the drinks are more expensive, but the drinks are not the reason you are there. No, it’s the gorgeous women wearing anything from barely-there to not-at-all-outfits strutting their stuff on stage or floating around the floor looking to make your dreams come true. Nothing turns a lovely young lady off faster than a slobbering drunk kid who can barely hold his head up. Keep your wits about you and you will have much more fun. A few beers with the boys at the pub is perfect to get warmed up for the night ahead but trust us, the girls, and the bouncers, will appreciate your relative sobriety.
Now you are primed and ready to enter the adult disneyland of the stip club, a little preperation has gone a long way, and this could just be the best night of your life. Part 2 of this guide covers you once you are inside, and will give you tips on how to charm the bouncers, attract the girls and generally cover up the first time jitters. Stay tuned.
