Part 2: ‘Up In ‘Da Club’
The Grand Entry
So here you are. You’re in the right place, you’re well dressed, you’re not overly drunk, and you are ready to roll. First things first, you have to get in the door. Now you have stacked the deck in your favour here, the well dressed, sober guys never have an issue with the bouncers, you are their favourite clients. They will be too busy telling Johnny-redneck why his pluggers are not appropriate to do anything but wave you in and wish you a good night. You pass through the lobby, maybe a sexy little thing takes some cash for the cover charge, and then you are in the mix. The lights twirls, the music thumps and lovely ladies shake their lovely lady lumps. Now is the time to resist the urge to act like a 5 year old at his birthday party and play it cool. If there is a hostess, she will take you to your table, if not, head to the bar to grab a drink. You want to take your time, survey the scene and feel the vibe of the club. You have all night, get comfortable. By not jumping the gun you won’t risk breaking the club rules with your enthusiasm. If you have any questions, ask. The girls will appreciate you taking the time to learn the rules and you will avoid being blacklisted by the dancers at best, and thrown out on your head by the bouncers at worst.
Show Time!
You are settled in, you have a good grasp on what is and isn’t allowed and it’s time to start enjoying yourself. Since you are sober and dressed the part you will be a likely target of the girls walking the floor. Remember you don’t have to take a dance from every girl who walks past. If you have your eye on a particular girl and others are offering dances, just say no thank you. You don’t need to come up with a lame excuse, or take a dance you don’t want. The girls are professionals, they won’t be upset if you don’t want a dance, but they do tire of lame excuses from guys who are not man enough to just say a simple “no thanks”. Just try keep it together when you have that unbelievably sexy minx grinding all over you, if you are fun, show her respect, and tip well, she will be coming back again and again.
How big do you wanna go?
Now that you are settled in, have had a few lap dances on the floor, and are getting the hang of the place, it’s decision time. Being the respectable, fun and generous fella you are, you will undoubtedly be offered a private dance. This usually involves you, one or more girls, a small booth with a curtain and an unforgettable experience. This will undoubtedly be the highlight of your evening, but there are a few pitfalls to avoid. The first is price, if money is an object to you then don’t be afraid to ask for a price upfront. Private dances can be costly, and once you’re in there with the girl or girls time will magically fly by. You are better off asking a price upfront so you know what you are in for. No one likes a punter who can’t pay his bill. The other trap is getting too handsy and having your time cut short. This falls back to asking first. Some girls won’t mind some light touching, but you need to clear it with them first to avoid getting yourself in trouble. The common theme here is if in doubt, ask the question. They will be well aware you are not a seasoned patron and it’s much better to ask questions than spoil your night from being misinformed.
Success!
So there you have it, tick the box off your man-card of visiting a strip club. By being prepared you avoided the traps, and set yourself up for a great night. You can leave the club, wallet a little lighter, but equipped with a solid whack of life experience and some very fond memories of Chrissy, Missy, Bella, Chantel, Jenna….
